Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Now for US some tips...
Get to know your body ...
Learning about what your body likes and how it reacts to different sensations will help you relax in intimate situations and focus on your sexual needs.
* Allow at least 30 minutes for this exercise.
* Switch off the phone, lock your door and make sure you won't be disturbed
Many people ignore the sensual pleasures of their body, preferring to focus on genital stimulation. But doing this cuts you off from so much potential intimacy and pleasure and can often lead to goal-orientated sex that may be disappointing.
Run yourself a bath, making it deep and warm. (If you don't have a bath, a shower will do.) Add a favourite bath foam or oil, step in and relax.
Focus on the warmth of the water. Do you feel it differently on various parts of your body? How does the water feel as it moves over you? Notice the varying textures of your skin and the areas that are most sensitive to touch.
Once you're out of the bath, dry yourself with a warm towel. Focus on how this feels. Does your body prefer being dried gently? Or vigorously? Perhaps the feelings differ across your body.
Now explore your body from head to toe, perhaps while applying a body lotion. Think about what kind of touch different parts of your body enjoy.
Experiment with different pressure and strokes, noticing what direction your body prefers. Spend some time touching your chest, particularly your nipples. This can be a pleasurable area for many men as well as women.
Move your hands down your body to focus on your stomach, hips and bottom, and finish with your inner thighs.
Throughout the exercise, think about how you feel. Relaxed? Invigorated? Pampered?
If you feel guilty or silly spending so much time on yourself, remind yourself that if you know your body better you're likely to enjoy sex more.
Genital touching - men
Many men only touch their genitals to masturbate, scratch or urinate, and by doing so miss out on learning about different types of touch.
* Try to allow at least 45 minutes for this exercise.
* Switch off the phone, lock your door and make sure you won't be disturbed.
* Make sure your room is warm and comfortable.
* You'll need a hand mirror.
* It might help to start with the Get to know your body exercise first.
If this exercise makes you a bit self-conscious, remind yourself that the better you know your body, the better your sex life will be.
Getting sexually aroused isn't the aim of this exercise, although it may happen. You'll find the feelings will soon subside.
As you repeat these exercises, you'll become more receptive to a variety of touch and any over-sensitivity should decrease quickly.
Texture and temperature
Run your fingers over your penis and scrotum. Notice the different textures and the weight in your hand. Can you feel a change in temperature as you continue to touch?
Use a hand mirror and look at the underside of your penis and scrotum - it's a view you may not have seen before. See how it all fits together and explore the area between your scrotum and anus called the perineum. How does this feel?
Remember - the appearance of genitals varies greatly from man to man. The size and shape of penis varies, as do the testicles. There's no 'normal' standard. You're unique.
If you press just above the base of your penis you can feel your pubic bone. Place your thumb here and one finger in front of your scrotum, just below the penis and above the testicles. Squeeze gently and you'll feel the tube that connects the testes to the urethra, near the base of the bladder (vas deferens).
Try different types of touch on your penis. What differences do you notice along the shaft, the base, the ridge at the top, the head?
Be aware of which strokes and touches you enjoy most. Notice which areas of your penis and scrotum are more sensitive than others.
Pelvic floor exercises for men
Increasing the strength of your pelvic floor muscles through regular exercise will help you get the most from sex. Psychosexual therapist
Before you start, you have to locate the muscles in question. You can do this by stopping your flow of urine next time you go to the loo. The muscles you use to do this are your pelvic floor muscles.
Regular exercise of the pelvic floor muscles - namely the pubococcygeus muscles that support the penis, bladder and rectum - has many health benefits, including:
* improved blood circulation to the genital area, which helps arousal
* stronger and more pleasurable orgasms
* a greater feeling of control and confidence over ejaculation
* improvement in the angle of erection
* avoiding urinary incontinence
There are two different exercises you can do. The first helps to increase muscle bulk and strength while the second helps to improve your endurance.
The first exercise involves pulling the muscles in and holding for a count of 10 seconds. To be sure you're focussing on your pelvic floor muscles, make sure you're not holding your breath, or tensing your abdomen or buttocks. Repeat 10 times.
For the second exercise, as before, pull the muscles in, ensuring you're only using the pelvic floor muscles, and this time hold for 30 seconds. Repeat 10 times.
You should try and do these exercises every morning and every evening. It doesn't matter if you do them lying down, sitting or standing, the important thing is that you do them regularly. It may take up to 12 weeks for you to notice some of the benefits listed above, but then you'll definitely notice them!